In defence of Civil Defence

As growing hectares of land are engulfed in flame, many New Zealanders are doing their part by turning against the agency intended to save them. Good Job.

For those unaware, Christchurch has been struck once again by an environmental crisis.

As growing hectares of land are engulfed in flame, many New Zealanders are doing their part by turning against the agency intended to save them. Good Job.

Continue reading “In defence of Civil Defence”

The Twennysixteen Awards

A review of 2016 with a few awards for fun

I hate to sound like one of those Facebook personalities who makes a status whenever anything happens saying “2016 strikes again!”. I will however state that 2016 has been one hell of a year. I thought I’d celebrate it by arbitrarily selecting several things that I subjectively find interesting and then write a sentence about them with the word award tagged onto the end.

Hope you enjoy.

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What Blinglish means for NZ Politics

Find a man who will look at you the way Bill looks at his budget.

So first things first, sorry I haven’t posted since August. I’ve been trying to detox myself from political shitposting (blogging*) since the emotional roller coaster that was the US General Election (watching Florida was like watching the red wedding on steroids). I figured I’d get back into the swing of things by plunging into the resignation of blokelord John Key.

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Fine, let’s talk about ANZAC Day.

War is ugly and the most horrific thing the world can face, remembrance should only ever serve to remind us of such a shocking stanza of history.

My most vivid memory of ANZAC Day is as follows;

It was an icy autumn morning. Waking at the ungodly hour of 4:45am, I put my kilt on and drove to the Paraparaumu Domain to join my pipe band at the dawn service for ANZAC Day. After marching the colossal distance of perhaps 75 metres, I then stood silently in formation to be graced by the reprehensible representative of the local RSA, important to mention that this guy wasn’t a veteran. In this spectacular speech the man lectured the assembly about the very serious threat of “youth gone wild!”.  The speech spoke at length about how the kids these days don’t understand proper values as all they seem to do is drink, fuck, and smoke weed (just imagine if he knew what Facebook was). All the meanwhile, he was ranting in front of about 6 under 18 members of the Kapiti Coast Pipe Band and about 30 members of the Air Training Cadets. Amongst his ad hom ramblings the man hailed that a better time once existed where young people were sensible, listened to their parents, and would volunteer to get shot at in a war millions of miles away from home. This time was 1915 and it was a better time indeed. Continue reading “Fine, let’s talk about ANZAC Day.”

Fail-safes of a failed flag.

The proud people of New Zealand has instead elected to keep the flag as they obviously prefer being represented by historic reminders to our colonial overlords and reptilian superiors.

So John Key lost and the flag remains unchanged, but does it actually matter? Has it hurt him in anyway?

Continue reading “Fail-safes of a failed flag.”

Flak Referendum

The chances of me voting for a glorified tea towel to represent our nation on international stage are quite slim.

Look at me being topical and totally not populist for my very first actual blog post.

Over the last few months in the lead up to flag referendum, I’ve found myself embroiled in a sea of crippling apathy in regards to two of New Zealand’s largest current news stories. These issues are the Flag Referendum and the TPPA. Now I won’t be talking about the controversial clauses of the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement in this piece however you can probably expect something on that in the future. In this piece I’ll be ranting and raving about the referenda, the 2017 General Election and ultimately what flag I will be voting for.

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